Some jokes to keep you entertained.
"HOW was your blind date?" a college student asked her room-mate."Terrible!" the room-mate answered."He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.""Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?""He was the original owner."-----
Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?Patient: I sure did. The bottle said, "keep tightly closed."-----
Girl : Do you love me ?Boy : Yes DearGirl : Would you die for me ?Boy : No, mine is undying love-----
Man : How old is your father ?Boy : As old as meMan : How can that be ?Boy : He became a father only when I was born-----
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.-----
Manager : Sorry,but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!-----Dad : "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her."Son : (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid.-----
Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces?"College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."-----
"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.""That's nice of her to take such an interest. What did she say when u told her u are the only child?""She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"-----
Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday."Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"-----A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher."'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."-----
Tooth extractionPatient : How much to have this tooth pulled?Dentist : $90.00.Patient : $90.00 for just a few minutes work???Dentist : I can extract it very slowly if you like.-----
Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."Teacher : "Use your dad's then."Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."